So much more going on than I could ever have imagined in all my many years of imagining. It’s enlightening in the sort of way your elders hoped you never would be. It hurts to be brought to this realization (I know better instinctively than to call it “understanding”) but what’s to come can be even tougher.
I don’t know if you, the person reading these words, have also read about the physical challenges with which I’ve been attempting to deal, the whole heart stoppage(s), head trauma – a function of the stopped heart leading to collapse outside and my head shouting “Watching me imitate a basketball!” Or the fact that the noggin crack has led to challenges I’m keen to leave behind.
Be that as it may, here’s the thing. I’m writing.
It’s still not as much as I want, but as I read through it, tagging page after page with my bloody red edit pen, I’m coming to see that it is as good as I want, or at the very least it is heading in that direction.
That, (quality potential aside), isn’t really news. When I’ve been able to and have actually bothered to talk about my life and especially my work since my practice deaths, it’s usually been because I’d had a moment, at least, of some sort of clarity and thought that perhaps I could put my writer’s visor back on, (you know the one that you see in cartoons of guys working on the newspaper – or did I just hallucinate that – no matter!) And it was and I did and everything was rosy and pretty except I kept stopping. I kept being unable to maintain the march.
And so I stopped writing and I stopped writing about writing. But each time I would tell myself that in just a short time I’d be talking about it all again and this time it would stick.
I suppose I had a point…
See this is where the effed-up brain comes in and… HA! I’m screwing with you. I know what I want to say. I’ve known it all along. HAHAHAHA! (Does anyone remember what I was going to say?)
Still screwing with you. Here’s the actual point. What’s happening this time, with the WIP and with the guy sitting at the keyboard to write it, is something that is now beginning to resemble consistency. The gig is no longer hit-or-miss completely.
Questions I’d be asking right now:
Q: Why should we think this time will be different from any of the previous ones?
A: Screw you. What kind of question is that to start with? Jesus.
Q: Are you happy with your progress on the WIP
A: Somewhat better question. And the answer is no. With every book, there is a point at which I begin to be happy with my progress. That’s still down the block right now.
Q: Do you have any juice in the fridge?
A: Not sure go look.
Can we wrap this up? There’s a show coming on that I’d like to watch
Yes. We can wrap this up. You’ve gotten the low down anyway, (see how I did that, tying in the graphic? That’s how you can tell I gotz web savvy). And, after all of my faldara (or was it faldaree?), I actually do have a point.
I would expect over the upcoming weeks that the project will have developed to where I’ll want to be here a-yappin’ about it more and more, perhaps even offering up a sample or two for the discerning sampler.
So drop on back and we’ll see what mischief we can get into!
Ciao for niow!