e2books, Bruté?

So I may have mentioned that my writing and business partner Craig A. Hart and myself have started a new website which is going to be a hub for all of our writings, both solo and corporate. And is always the case with Craig and I, when we do something, we do it up big. And so in addition to the full-featured website, e2books.com, there is an e2books Facebook Page, and an e2books mailing list, which brings me to my next bit of big news.

To make the nearly unbearable trauma of signing up for another mailing list, (and an author’s mailing list to boot – those jerks NEVER shut up), Craig and I wrote something brand new which is available exclusively to newsletter subscribers. And listen to this bright idea. Craig wants to give it away for free! You sign up for the newsletter, (which, as one of the people who will be contributing to it, I can already tell you it will be better than most anything else that populates your inbox, unless you’re on the AARP mailing list), and you get the story. Bam. No fuss, no muss, nobody gets hurt. [Ed. Note: If you read the story you’ll realize that this is an obvious lie. A bunch of people get hurt.]

Aside from enticing you to subscribe, we also wrote the story to introduce something else new. It would appear that the world of Cleanup Crew and the honored citizen from Serenity, MI, Mr. Shelby Alexander have been linked for some time, with the details only now coming to light. And we’re introducing J.J. Porter, daughter of Dan and Nicole, as a main character for the first time, (although we’ve been watching her develop into her calling for since Book #2, The Count of Carolina.)

Finally, I’d just like to clear the air on one issue. Craig sent an email to his list, announcing the formation of e2books and the new short story. After whining about the snow in Iowa (I’m trying to be humble but Syracuse, NY is well known as the snowiest major city in the U.S. You can look it up. [Ed. Note: Not this year, at least not so far anyway] [Auth. Note: Great. You jinxed us, you a-holes.]) he goes on to say the following:

First, Scott (S.J.) Varengo and I continue to double down on our partnership. This is mostly a result of the fact that I know all of his secrets and have collected them into manila envelopes, which will be delivered to every news station in his tri-state area immediately upon his refusal to work with me.

Craig a. hart

Clearly the man is delusional. To think that MY secrets could fit into manila envelopes, and that a normal-sized human dwelling could house those seam-bursting envelopes is preposterous. Why, just the secrets from my freshman year of college in New York City could fill the Library of Congress twice. And don’t even get me started on the 1980s. Talk about your high crimes and misdemeanors!

Hmm. Excuse me. Phone’s ringing…

Um, that was Craig. Apparently I’m “oversharing,” and apparently I’m doing it “again,” as in like every time “before.” So I’d direct you to disregard the testimony about the 1980s and lets move onto the link, which is “apparently” what I’m “supposed” to be “sharing.” Frankly I’m already beginning to regret starting this post. Okay, maybe I don’t regret it, exactly. Listen. Whatever.

So click on the link, click on the cover up there, I don’t even care. I’m tired of getting in trouble all the time just because I remember one or two things about the 1980s that may or may not have appeared on several nationally televisions true crime shows…

[Ed. Note: We think he’s kidding.]

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