S.J. Varengo

Author

The Famous Bio

Writer, Husband, Father

Scott Varengo, married father of two and inventor of the electric light bulb, has been writing since 1st Grade, when they used big, fat pencils with no erasers. "What if I make a mistake?" he asked his teacher? "I will kill you, cut you into little pieces, and feed you to Comrade Gibbles," she answered. "The guinea pig?" he gasped, eyes as wide as dodge balls. In the corner, Comrade Giggles sat in his cage, watching the young author hungrily. "You're damn right," said the teacher. "No finish transcribing that surface-to-air missile manual."

Some weeks later, agents of the FBI burst into the class during math time and arrested the teacher, who turned out to be a Soviet spy, sent to usurp the innocent minds of American school children through a reign of rodent-based terror.

It was only a few years later, in 3rd Grade, when Varengo first felt the cruel mantle of censorship upon his work. During the performance of his drama, "The Apple Tree that Got Mad and Threw Its Apples at the Kids," a one-act play for Popsicle-stick puppets, his teacher abruptly brought the show to a close when the tree uttered it's now infamcous line, "Get back here, you shit-pants little gonad, and I'll shove these apples where the sun never shines!"

Varengo reported his teacher to the Attorney General for violates of his First Amendment rights, leading to her being removed from her position and replaced by a busty blonde number named Miss Trixie.

From that point forward, Varengo became known for his cutting-edge writing, as exemplified in such now famous works as his 1976 Bicentennial essay, "For God's Sake, President Ford, Sit Down Before You Hurt Yourself!" his college entrance essay, "Don't Expect Me To Study if There's Beer and Pot to Consume," and his touching self-penned wedding vows, entitled, "Git Up 'n' Make Me A Sammich!"

The Real Story

I've been writing for a very long time. I have always felt it was the reason I was allowed to take up space on this planet.

When I was in high school, (and thanks to Facebook, I still have friends who will confirm this), pretty much all I ever did was write, and everybody just assumed that someday I'd be a published author, sooner, probably, than later.

Then life happened.

I don't want to give you a long, sad story, (I write enough of those anyway), but the fact of the matter is that I went into an extended, painful mental decline which lasted until around June of 2015, when after being almost completely unable to write anything, the floodgates opened.

Since that time I've finished two novels, (much more about them elsewhere), the book of short fiction, and a good chunk of poetry, (though not necessarily, I suppose, a chunk of good poetry.)

It's all here, in one form or another, and I hope you enjoy learning more about me and my work.

Book Cover Bio

Scott Varengo is a married father of two adult children. He attended Fordham University before transferring to the State University of New York at Potsdam, from which he earned a bachelor’s degree in Art History.

Varengo loves to read, listen to music, and walk with his wife Kim and their dog Tanner. He lives in Baldwinsville, NY, a suburb of Syracuse, known for its picturesque setting and its friendly people.

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